Why English is so Profoundly Confounding!

Just the other day, I finally received my Amici "Raise" Clutch Bag in Apple Green

Happy was I, that i went to show it off to my English Handicapped mum...
*Trots off happily, clutch bag in hand, plonks on sofa beside mum*
Me: Mum look at my newest purchase off the internet.
*Mum peers closely at bag*
Mum: Why you buy so many of these clutch bags ah... all same pattern one. What are those words written on it? (in fluent mandarin)
Me: ERr... *peers and scrutinizes bag closely* ACtually hor ... it can be interpreted in many ways... depending on how you see it... i guess....
Mum: Like how?
Me: Ok ..

1. It can mean you desire an increment in your salary.
2. It can also mean you want your boobs raised to a bigger size or merely a push up.
   
3. It can finally also mean that you want to see someone's (preferably your boyfriend in question) pecker do a standing ovation for you.
   

Mum: Wah ... then you still dare to carry ah?
Me: Aiya, I always meant it to be No. 1.

Now English is really profoundly confounding... It's an occupational hazard... seriously.