The Last Request

the lights remain
and the carols sound
christmas still comes
without you around

only the heart it skips a beat
not from joy but
an emptiness that eats away
at the depths of my heart

that leaves me questioning
am i but a random one
devoid of constancy, a perfect flaw
for the heart that desires randomness

the last request was bitter-sweet
more bitter than sweet, i'd say
had it started right,
would you have tried to know me better?

my memory is filled with that
which i'd like to forget.