a premature autopsy
of a life yet lived.
Apparently 1.5 years ago,
i was a happier person.
Evident by the following statement,
in a recent email.
and Von (that's me)..
twice...zoned out.
pressure from work?
missing paul (that's my bf)?
we are not as fun? :( Or...or????
you used to carry a smile and laughter more often...
No, you aren't the only one.
Somebody else said so too
on a night like this.
If it serves you well to know the real me,
this is what i wrote a year and a half ago.
I'll smile for you if you want me to
if it makes you happy
I'll do just that so you'll know that everything is fine
Make me cry, so i know that i care for you
Yet i wish you would make me smile forever
Would you?
Interpret it the way you want to,
and that's all you ever need to know.
1.5 years ago...
i knew i never want to sit in a cubicle,
facing the computer all day,
all my life.
1.5 years ago...
you said this to me
"People change"
and i truly believed
so have i.
1.5 years ago...
i never knew of your existence
and it could have been better
1.5 years ago...
I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
so i love you because i know no other way |Pablo Neruda|
1.5 years ago...
i was twenty-something
and i still am.
pardon me if you don't know me
for i don't truly know myself, yet.
1.5 years ago...
i never liked clubbing
today...
i am still no clubbing queen.
But we change.
so Shelley said.
For we are but restless clouds
and forgotten lyres.
Nothing endures but mutability.
And of course that's a truly happy smile.
But how do you measure one?
Smiles were a means of survival
From whence i could not recall
