Have i thought lately?

On children or people with special needs...
When was the last time i helped someone with disability?
I can only remember the last time i jeered at a blind man
for winning a certain singing competition
(though this is purely based on a subjective and personal opinion that nasal voices generally do not make good singing voices. think Beegees and Japanese Karaoke types... i said it was subjective)
As if i needed a reminder to these "oddities of life",
i can't help but feel an ill premonition that someone is preparing me for the "School of Hard Knocks",
first, it was "The curious incident of the Dog in the night-time"
AUTISTIC ASPERGER'S SYNDROME
then, it was QED521: Individual differences
AUTISTIC
how many of us have met autism?
I have.
but i couldn't tolerate him. hurled insults at him.
i couldn't tolerate him even as a fictional character.
they belong to another world, i tell myself
like my lecturer says, I just wish them away
i think i might have fallen into that pit of mixed emotions
of anger, hurt, rejection,
that is so painful, because these people do not view the world as we do
maybe we are too complex for them.
how could i have done it a different way?
I am still searching for the answer.
If i should meet autism again. I know i'll be prepared.

On music and dissonance...
We had to listen to a very painful piece of music in class today
it totally struck the wrong chord, so to speak.
It was dissonance all the way,
the closest allusion i can draw it to is something from an Alfred Hitchcock movie soundtrack
or "The Ring" soundtrack.
It made my hair stand on ends for like 20 minutes
and it was music.
In his words, i was "musically scarred".
give me formulaic pop anyday and i'll be happy

if i told you my thoughts
it would be full of you